Jumat, 21 Maret 2008

Dawala the Pioneer of Mass-Education

The fog starts uncovering!
And the Sun is shining
At every movement looking!

TUMARITIS VILLAGE.--Kyai Semar Badranaya, ya Ki Lurah Kudapawana seems thinking and contemplating: society is changing! Tumaritis village starts moving to a dynamic living. It is different from villages in old age, bounded by static system of tradition. Tumaritis is dynamically moving.

As the lost of Kyai Petruk, appears Begawan Dawala who is super-mbeling playing goro-goro. Different from Kyai Petruk in making goro-goro that is always full of crazy-jokes, Begawan Dawala makes goro-goro by declearing living without B3B (free from three types of illiteracy). The result is that Amarta's societies become clever and educated without importing KKN students and their bullshit DPL from Sokalima University. However, the smart and educated societies are not free from problem faced by them. Even happens a new epidemic that becomes epidemically new. Now the students become "pollution" that increases the epidemic of intellectual deficiency! A new pollution in modern societies that directly and super-negatively impacts on human living.

The smokestack does obviously not cause the pollution and epidemic and waste of steel, fertilizer industries, or whatever that pollutes environment; but, caused by the waste of education industries themselves, that likes or dislikes polluting! At least it says so according to Begawan Dawala. Anxiously, he observes the education industries: in his opinion, there is no a harmonious balance between the machines in all levels; so that the education products are never appropriately useful. As a result, there is no ready-for-use product! Besides, the education industries are wasteful! Like a tonnage of rice that becomes a kilogram of rice, and finally become a spoon of rice. The others become their own wastes of education industries! If the wastes are not immediately overcome, at last they will be pollution, and spread the epidemic of intellectual deficiency. It is more dangerous than the plague like in Albert Camus' La peste. Begawan Dawala wisely smiles.

Actually, education industries are able to create intellectual taste. The mechanism system forces the existence of continual production process. And ironically, going out of the system means to fasten pollution; and stopping means a sudden deficiency; meanwhile if it keeps continuing, it will be chronic! En vano ni hablar de eso--says Begawan Dawala in Don Juan's language.

With his deep wit Begawan Dawala watches the social show. Several efforts have been done to oppress the pollution and epidemic, although those are just merely noisy-busy. Formal people immediately enlarge and heighten their "education industry buildings". Non-formal people are busy to sell portable education machines. In informal environment people are busy to look for the medicine. According to Begawan Dawala, such people have given wrong diagnosis; and consequently they have injected wrong medicine. Education mal-practice is inevitable! Pollution only flows to another place; meanwhile intellectual deficiency is only cured by intellectual fallacy! How horrible it is.

As a good citizen of Amarta, Begawan Dawala does not just keep silent. He is a guiding watcher! So soon he goes to meet Kyai Semar.

In his humble house, Kyai Semar stands up from his contemplation. He approaches Gareng and Bagong.

SEMAR: Sons, don't you know where Petruk is going?

GARENG: No, Dad!

BAGONG: Nah--you see… your son wants to study, you don't permit him. Petruk is obstinately leaving the house!

SEMAR: Gee, you blame me! He doesn't take my advice. Don't force to enter higher education, moreover to a so and so university.

BAGONG: But, Dad, it's the age of schooling. You could stand to lead a miserable existence and make your son miss the age. Please look at my Bro Gareng that is illiterate, there is KMD--newspaper for villagers-- he is only able to see its pictures. He passed B3B yesterday evening. Poor him!

GARENG: Mocking me!

BAGONG: I don't mock or insult you, it's reality! Other people are busy competing to be a village-head and looking for a mbonapide en kualipeot job, Kang Gareng brings his hue everywhere--keeping on doing voluntary collective work!

GARENG: Lha wong I'm a good citizen.

BAGONG: That's right if your voluntary collective work is really done, wong Kang Gareng just looks for getting the food.

Without mercy Gareng flies his fists. Bagong groans and moans.

SEMAR: Hehehe… don’t fight! Voluntary collective work is important, too. We are humble people only able to do voluntary collective work by hoing. I'm myself a ward master not merely governing. Taking action is necessary! Not because of a leader, my work is merely instructing and governing! Not so!

GARENG: Nah! You see--that's right, Dad!

SEMAR: Look for si Petruk!

BAGONG: Take action, Daaad!

Semar smiles.

GARENG: Ops--I can't, Dad. How do I look for him? Uphill I'm afraid I'll be confused, down town I'm afraid I'll be lost!

BAGONG: How a kampoong man your are! For me, I prefer looking for money to looking for Petruk whose place is not obvious! Private Uni has a great harvest. I'll take a part to harvest.

GARENG: You can't do that! It's the harvest season for intellectuals. You, studying at Senior High School, have never finished.

BAGONG: Wrong! I know the people who have the harvest are intellectuals, the people who are harvested are students, and the people who are injured by the harvest are their parents! And the people who dig the foundation of the glamour but tremor campus are we.

GARENG: Wee, there are many machines. Can you rival such machines?

BAGONG: If you say so, as the products of technological age people should be able to rival machines. Technology doesn't only create robot, but also makes human beings be robots. The more like robot, the more useful the people in the world of technology. It's better than empty--handed and empty-headed! Right or wrong?

At that time Begawan Dawala is entering the doorway.

DAWALA: Sampurasun, excuse me.

SEMAR: Rampes! O, Ki Dawala, come in please.

DAWALA: Thank you, Kyai. Well, Kyai, I'm really sorry for seeing the new phenomenon that falls on our society. After getting rid of triple illiteracy, now occur the pollution of students and the epidemic of intellectual deficiency. To face such conditions, what should be done, Kyai?

Kyai Semar is surprised-confused. Facing such a problem, he can not do anything else except goes back to his own self.

SEMAR: That's the risk. We can not blame others. The Industry of education is going on and can not be stopped. The only way to save the industry is haw to navigate it. Where'll our education industry be navigated?

DAWALA: That's the anxious problem, Kyai. Three-centered education is shaking because there is no balance here and there. Prof Dr Arjuna, the National Education Ministry of Amarta, can not overcome the industry of formal education. The buildings of the industry is as high as the sky, but the quality is as high as knee; it is sophisticated in the ivory tower, but it is powerless in the practical fields; and the gap is like a abyss more and more. The products of education industry are more alienated from market taste. The production cost is bigger than the selling cost of its products that is often in vein. At last the industry is so consumptive to the raw material just to make idleness!

Gareng and Bagong keep silent knowing nothing

SEMAR: Then what is the purpose of Ki Begawan?

DAWALA: It needs deformation!

Kyai Semar is startled. The only one Begawan is very multi-radical!

SEMAR: I understand--Ki Begawan does not chit a chat, but don't oppose the system!

DAWALA: Deformation doesn't oppose the system. Deformation is a new paradigm. It's the time for Amarta to establish mass-education. The social dynamics has displayed mass-society that supports mass-culture. In such a condition, mass-information will grow speedily and spreadly. In mass-education, the role of mass-information is absolute as a mass-mahaguru.

GARENG (whispering): do you get it, Gong?


SEMAR: Is it possible operationally?

DAWALA: Of course! Just waiting for the coming of mass-mahaguru, educating mass with sophisticated mass-information. For gaining the purpose, massmedia will not be free from deformation! The more cultural and educative massmedia, the more trusted to be the tongue of mass-mahaguru. Next time information deformation will change the world!

BAGONG: Is it like revolution?

DAWALA: Deformation is not revolution! All kinds of revolution just represent fallacy. Revolution is just a mere culture of human-pigs! Revolution is just a mere bullshit!


SEMAR: Em!--Then what is the ubarampe of mass-education operation?

DAWALA: Firstly, establishing mass-information deformation by forming BSIM--mass-information censorship board. The black or white mass-education depends on the sophistication of BSIM. Secondly, it is necessary to form BPIM--mass-information-guiding board. This board controls the circuit and mechanism of mass-information; so that the objective of mass-education can be directed in line of its purpose. Nah!--only by such a mass-education, the student pollution and all of it impact, and intellectual deficiency can be overcome. Besides, it determines the existence of mass-culture in the future.

SEMAR: Yes, it depends on its praxis. Is practice not as simple as theory? Often a "grand theory" changes to be "vice" in practice. History has noted many events like those. And of course Ki Begawan himself understands those cases. How has the world been burnt by the crazy fool Uber Alles, ten million people were killed for the game of human-pigs, and human beings slowly but exactly face The World Lost.

DAWALA: True, Kyai. Deformation has superpower to achieve The World Regain. Mass-education will prove that science doesn't lay in the glamour of ivory-towered buildings, but lays in the power of information! That's why mass-education sets forward information deformation. Without information deformation, education doesn't exist!

Bagong is confused. Gareng is snoring.

SEMAR: I agree! Mass-education is more oriented to public interest; not to establish elite intellectual attitude. It's truly a noble idea! I hope mass-intellectuals will be born next time. And like or dislike, elite-intellectual will be seized by the age. This case will happen consequently; no because of force like marginal people who live in the slums. Marginal students are not necessary to be pollution. Even, Ekalaya, Socrates, Ivan Illich, and the similar archetype like them go ahead!

DAWALA: True, Kyai. Sokalima as a megapolitan city of education can do nothing! What is the meaning of intellectuals if just merely silent intellectuals? What is the use of heightening a slanting ivory-towered building? Intellectual-being-for-himself is meaningless! Intellectual an sich is just a mere catshit! All we need now are intellectual being-for-others: mass-intellectuals.

Kyai Semar smiles wisely. The existence of Begawan Dawala in his village if like a full moon in a blind night. Kyai Semar, as a trusted humble person in Amarta, immediately reports Begawan Dawala's will to the Minister of National Education of Amarta--Prof Dr Arjuna. At first, mass-education is regarded as a non-sense education system! However, the Minister of Communication of Amarta Prof Dr Nakula thinks differently. Mass-education is a sophisticated education system, in which communication will exist more and more. According to Minister of Com Nakula, mass-education will be able to cure the squealer culture in communication. For the vested interest, Minister of Com Nakula receives the mass-education. Even though Prof Dr Arjuna does not agree because he is too fanatic with the education system of Sokalima, Prof Dr Nakula will enter mass-education to his department. Finally, after fully understanding the system, Prof Dr Arjuna agrees, too.

It is reported that mass-education is established in the state of Amarta. It has a super extraordinary consequence! The people of Amarta are cleverer and better educated in comparison to the people of other countries. The state of Astina that is proud of having megapolitan city of education Sokalima becomes underdeveloped not because of stupidity but it is left and can not follow the development of mass-education in Amarta.

In fact BSIM can be a defense valve for Amarta. BSIM supports the power of security and defense and General Bima, Minister of Defense of Amarta, participates to allocate his weaponry budgets for information budgets of mass-education. BPIM can make mass-information be export commodities in the traffic of international mass-information. Minister of Research and Technology of Amarta, Prof Dr Ir Sadewa admires the sophistication of information technology of BPIM which is not only able to detect information from and to all over the world, but also to all over the universe. Military Commander of Amarta General Gatotkaca is glad to see the existence of BPIM; as a matter of fact whose the greatness of spy force is more sophisticated than other spy-agents. Amarta does not need to send its James Bonds whom like playing with women in their operations.

Begawan Dawala smiles wisely. He clearly resists when the rector Sokalima University Prof Dr Durna invites to give Doctor Honoris Causa for Begawan Dawala. The attitude is regarded as a great mockery for Astina. Moreover when the First Lady of Astina, Mrs. Banowati PhD, forces President Duryudana to do a total perestroka in Negara "Tirai" Astina. For being ignored, Banowati the philosophy doctor runs away to meet Begawan Dawala. Studying his science.

When Banowati asks whether Begawan Dawala exists, calmly Begawan Dawala says, "I deform, therefore I exist!"

Ki Harsono Siswocarito
Semarang, 15 Maret 2008

Jumat, 08 Februari 2008

Candabirawa: Robot Sci-Fi War

Candabirawa the masterpiece
Of a great giant intellectual in
The Culture of Biorobotics Age

FUTURE SHOW--The textbook of future lakonet is going to be performed by ki dalangmaya. Different from Future Shock written by Alvin Toffler, Future Show is an experimental work of dialectical reason engineering of science and magic. The form of dialectical unity between reason and feeling: the harmony of West and East Cultures. In fact, ki dalang is not a futurologist but a futurist who likes exploring en avant vu dimension. --"Nah, these are the image + story + dialog of Ki Harsono Siswocarito's styles in a future flash show."--Look:

Black screen
Of night sign

(Clap!)--"Look out!"
"Hmm, forward!"
(Click!)--"Shit! No bullet left!"

Sound's gone
No left alone

(Whoosh! Clap!)--"Be careful! Watch the frontline!"
"Yes, Sir!"--(Whoosh!
"Laser, Let!"
"Yes, Sir!"
"Sabotage this optic fiber cable--hurry up!"
(Zzsstz!)--"Well done!"
NAKULA: Okay, we've cut the information channel from Bulupitu Headquarter to Biorobotics Lab in Mandraka. Let's arrest General Salya!"

SADEWA: Wait, Captain Nakula--what about the intelsat of Astina?

NAKULA: What? Do you forget, Lieut.Col Sadewa? The outer space military base and star-war equipment of Astina had been destroyed when Marshal Gatotkaca was officiated as the Amartan star-war commander-in-chief.

SADEWA: O yea, all right. C'mon!

Both of the officers from Bumiretawu Division and Sawojajar Division go in a hurry to Mandraka for the sake of duty to seek the secret key of Biorobotics. Without mastering the key it is impossible for Amarta to conquest the Brigade of Candabirawa Biorobots led by Commander General Salya.

Salya is reengineering
In the Biorobotics Lab

MANDRAKA.--General Salya is diligently reengineering his research to perfect the latest and the most sophisticated biorobotics experiment. The Last Biorobot Killers! The cultural heritage of biorobotics from Prof Dr Bagaspati is really extraordinary. Artificial intelligence, the key-success of robotics, now has been completed by artificial intuition, the key-success of biorobotics. Prof Dr Bagaspati has inherited the basic deformation of a silico-logicus to be a biosilico-logicus. This is Candabirawa Biorobotics. Terrible and horrible! And General Salya is ready to send the Brigade of Candabirawa Biorobots to the hell of Kurusetra.

After finishing his research, immediately General Salya contacts Bulupitu Headquarter. He is surprised because all information channels have been cut. With red anger he throws his videophone. Then he goes quickly down the sky scrapper building of the Biorobotics Lab. When he arrives at the basement floor, Captain Nakula and Lieut.Col Sadewa arrest him.

SADEWA: Don't move! Let's finish the war!

SALYA: The war? This is not the place! It's the battlefield case, not the lab one!

NAKULA: Exactly, General, but this Biorobotics Lab is the source of the greatest scientific mal-practice in the future civilization of mankind. Kurusetra is not the field for verifying truth and justice anymore, but the killing-field of human beings. Biorobotics traps human beings to be slaves and victims of it creation. It'd better die for God's sake than be killed by creation!

SALYA: Hmm, so what do you want?

SADEWA: Look at this destruction-button!

NAKULA: So choose, we die together or give us the key of secret formula of Candabirawa Biorobotics?

SALYA: Sly are you bastard! Do you think you can rival my expertise Hua-ha-ha-ha… take it! Nah, see you later in Kurusetra!

After getting the secret key of Candabirawa Biorobotics, Captain Nakula and Lieut.Col Sadewa disappear in the darkness. General Salya rolls his eyes and represses his emotion. To calm his passion, he goes quickly to a pub. And not so long he has fallen weakly on the bed of Setyawati, playing a bomb.

As woman embraces
Everything melts

In the dawn, Setyawati goes to sleep. General Salya puts a sci-fi doll beside his wife, which can say, "O Dear, let me go to a biorobotic sci-fi war!" After putting his night clothing off, immediately he puts his war clothing on. And then in a hurry he goes to Bulupitu.

Different event
On one lakonet
--F = N2C

BIOART LAB, AMARTA.--Pandawa succeed to deform the secret key of Candabirawa Biorobotics in the Bioart Lab, so that from the deformation of artificial intuition of biosilico-logicus creature is reformed three new formations: biosilico-estheticus, biosilico-ethicus, and biosilico-mysticus. From the three formations the biorobots of Arsoid, Ethicoid, and Deusoid are created: the biorobot race which has reason and emotion. Really extraordinary! The Bioart Lab succeeds to produce such genius biorobots that understand truth, beauty, virtue, and miracle. General Darmakesuma, the expert of reason engineering in the Bioart Lab, brings Deusoid. The biosilico-deus creature is ready to save and rescue the human race in the battlefield of The Last Baratayuda World War.

DARMAKESUMA: Here you are, I think only Deusoid that can rival Candabirawa. How is the condition of Kurusetra?

KRESNA: Dangerous, General! Everyone says, "The Brigade of Candabirawa Biorobots multiple more and more!" Is it true, General Bima?

BIMA: Yes, General! The troops of Amarta go back off because all weapons can not destroy the Candabirawa Biorobots. The killing machine of the biosilico-logicus creature is like evil devil! Truly as hell ass hole!

DARMAKESUMA: Then, what is an appropriate strategy to save human beings?

KRESNA: Put all weapons off! And use anti-biorobotic clothes.

"Exactly! Weapon = catastrophe! What is the meaning? Look--the earth quakes, the ozone is torn, the global catastrophe is open!"
Nature + Culture - Nurture = No Future

"O Brahmadharmavisnu!"
"Future is the triad of nature-culture-nurture!"

DARMAKESUMA: Well, back to nurture. We should destroy the Candabirawa Biorobots. Let's go to Kurusetra!

"Yes, Sir! Yes, Sir! Yes, Sir!"

Biorobotics Sci-fi war
The humans disappear

KURUSETRA.--Sci-fi war!

"Dur, Cit, Karta--watch HDTV: Candabirawa Biorobots make war, we just sit with swinging legs. Kurawa will win!"
HDTV: (It's visible--the giants with computer-brains, parabola-eyes, radar-ears, laser-hairs, missile-teeth, nuclear-fingers, weapon-hands, ammunition-bodies, gunpowder-lungs, and tank-legs--move mechanic-programmatic-catastrophically!)

"Contemporary Surrealism!"

(General Salya sits + remote + hardcore drink--detector screen--teleinstructor buttons--Kurusetra killing-field map--signal--0987654321--)

Faulkner: "When will be blown up?"
"As it's so!"

(General Salya suddenly screams, "Deusoid?"--Supersensory + artificial intuition detector: F = N2C--Candabirawa Biorobots 1/1 vanish!)

"Superpowerful without weapon!"

SALYA: Hmm, the deuce! Who are you?

DEUSOID: I'm Deusoid.

SALYA: O, my God! Art Thou Batara Dharma?

Bacon: "Idols of the Mind!"

DEUSOID: O, Salya--peel the Idols of the Sign, free the Idols of the Soul. You are about to know me!

SALYA: Kalimasada Science!

(Darmakesuma is appearing--Candabirawa is vanishing--Darmakesuma is winning!)

Lord of creation's human
Neither slave nor victim
Neither God nor Satan!

"Biorobots are destructed!"
"Salya's dead!"
"Long live Darmakesuma!"

White screen
Is a love sign

:--"Let's stop the flash-show here. Presence and Absence are important. Ki dalangmaya hopes to be forgiven, --see you later and wait for next lakonets!"

Ki Harsono Siswocarito
Semarang, 7 February 2008

Senin, 04 Februari 2008

The Primadonna of Sokalima

Jasmine blooms facing the day
Roses bloom and wildly gleam
Flowers of Tulip and Sakura
Thou art the worldly shawl!

SOKALIMA STATES UNIVERSITY. —The beats of the drum accompany the glorious steps of the primadonna of Sokalima. A super contemporary chick! She is the cathexis object of every boy. Moreover, a playboy like Arjuna, she can make him roll his eyes. Her name is top n pop—Srikandi. On her beauty, look into " The Notes of Si Kumbang Kampus,” Arjuna depicts her below—

“Kandy is really a super trendy chick. Her lips are as sweet as lipstick ad. Her eyes are as exotic as eyeshadow ad. Her hairstyle is like styling foam ad. Her fragrance is as unique as perfume ad. Her clothes are as trendy as fashion ad. Her body's as sexy as bikini ad. Her style's as attractive as L’Poseur is. Her brain's smarter than computer. Her attitude's emancipatorily practical. Her hobbies are displaying n showing off. Her ideals are gorgeous and famous. Her idol is artist-oriented. Her music is rock. Her love is patented n trusted. Her slogan—reading, idealizing, and working!”
Gee! Arjuna is genius! How sophisticated he depicts the image of the super contemporary chick. Differ from the style of orthodox artists! Look at the style: what are those lambene gula satemplik, halisna ngajeler paeh, and soon? Moreover an abstract—all beauties are shattered and destroyed. Never mind—, as you like. Listen to his chlise slogans, “The forms of art embody their own laws, not the reason to push us in daily life,” said Viktor Sjiklovski. Arjuna does not agree at all. For him, “Art is deformation!” It's ok!

Srikandi walks like on a catwalk. Her attitude is challenging like Jane d’Arc. Her sunglasses decorate her new wave hair. Her eyes shine wildly like a blitz. Her appearance makes Dr Kumbayana hurily jump out from his office through the window. Gosh--how obstinate the doctor is. He wants to chase Srikandi. He estimates highly the primadona of his campus. Pantas! Although he has a son as old as Srikandi, Dr Kumbayana does not care and prex-cuek. Because of his million puberty, he goes ahead!

Besides, Wilutama, the samen-leven partner of Dr Kumbayana, has uncertain room. When Aswatama was as little as mice, Wilutama fled because she was never given money for shopping. The salary of the doctor is always minim. Looking for part time teaching is only permitted for 4 SCU, doing corruption is impossible. He is not a bureaucrat! And … sst--remember! Inner Watch! Nah you are dead!

Instead of being dizzy for a thousand circles, it is better for him to look for a cheap entertainment. Dr Kumbayana approaches his campus primadonna. Kurawa CS make riot and whistle. Burisrawa the champion of flirting spontaneously sells love for sale, teasing his lecturer.

BURISRAWA: Hellaouw, Kandy--Madonna of my campus. Why do you like being approached by such an odd-old widower? It's better with me, come on? It should be desirous!

Srikandi rolls her eyes, but she is cinematically pretty. Dr Kumbayana opens his eyes wide because of being shot by his bad tempered students.

DURSASANA (laughing). Huahahaha... she is fit with me. This is--a student of government science--the candidate of Banjarjumut regent!

DURMAGATI: Zhe iz better with me, an engineer in the making future real-eztate zpezializt! Jeng Zri needn't be a victim of zabby apartment love. Make love in real-eztate--zophizticated, izn't it?

Ignoring the satanic mocking! Immediately Srikandi goes to library. Left alone by her, Dr Kumbayana is madly annoyed. To compensate his anger, he crazily curses his students.

KUMBAYANA: You all know not ethics, yea? Do you ask me for making you all fail in your exam? I'll give you all E grade! Verdoooven!


BURISRAWA: Youw threaten me, Doc? Youw kenow who I'm? Bureaucrat's son! Don't play with me if youw don't wanna be fired! Do youw understand, Doc?

Dr Kumbayana can shake his head only. Than he goes away like Cakil who always looses in war.

THE LIBRARY.--In the reading room of the library, Arjuna seems happy reading a novel written by Yudhistira, Arjuna Looks for Love. He does not care of the appearance of Srikandi. Neither does he when Kurawa ce-es liar-brutally follow the primadonna into the bookshelf corridor. The reading room changes into a sightseeing room. Because of his ill feelings, Arjuna jumps his butt in a hurry, going away without saying.

SRIKANDI: Hey, Jun! Wait!

Arjuna turns his head. He looks at the primadonna with the frozen eyesight like ice stone. Uneven frozen! Just for etiquette he asks.

ARJUNA: What's up?

SRIKANDI: Nothing--where are you going?

ARJUNA: Looking for privacy.

Without waiting for reaction, Arjuna steps away. Vacantly confused Srikandi is. Banowati, who is heavily gossiping with her friends, laughs wildly.

BANOWATI: Eh, look--our primadonna hits an obstacle. Taste it! Never hope Bro Jun will care her yea. Is she prettier than I am? Here--a model!

Dursilawati smiles like a donkey while looking at Banowati who gestures her sexy body.

DURSILAWATI: But you loose be-bra, Ban.

BANOWATI: What is be-bra?

DURSILAWATI: Loose beauty and brain!

BANOWATI: Never mind! The most important thing of all is sexy. I warranty it will succeed in rivalry. Brain is not important! Nah--what is the greatness of Srikandi who is truly pretty and smart? Moreover my approach to Arjuna has been done since I was at Kindergarten. Srikandi must be lost heavily!

SURTIKANTI (calmly smiling): Unfortunately I have engaged with Bro Awangga. If not, I wanna take apart in rivalry with you. What is uneasy in flirting Arjuna?

DURSILAWATI: Break him, Kanti. Let him be my lover.

SURTIKANTI: As you wish!

Laughing-bomb explodes in the middle of them. Over there, Srikandi still stands uneven-frozen, gazing at Arjuna who goes away and lost eaten by the edge of the campus. She wakes up from her uneven-frozen standing when Aswatama gives her a navy-blue enveloped letter. She says thanks and then buzzes off.

Coppercolored cloud in the sky
Western makes dark hurily
Evening is embraced stickly
By the night lonely!

PANCALA.--Srikandi closes the door of her bedroom. Slowly she opens the letter from Aswatama. Actually, Dr Kumbayana writes the letter. Wow--dad is made in date by his son!--thinks Srikandi. Its content is seduction! After reading the letter, she throws it out through a window.

Outside, the letter on his forehead beats Gandamana--the adjuvant of General Drupada, the father of Srikandi. He takes and reads it while walking: --

Dear Srikandi,

Thou art prettier than Juliet is
My love to thee more than Romeo!
The accessory in thy breast
Makes me jealous like Othelo
To Desdemona!

Mit der Liebe
Dr Kumbayana
Gandamana is surprised. Secretly he falls in love with the princess of his boss. His envy suddenly boils like rivaling Candradimuka crater. Like thunder he jumps into his military jeep. Then he goes with the gas! Looking at the attitude of the young adjuvant, picket officers stand stupor like buffalo.

Vice nightmare
To rival hell
The dark way

The military jeep rolls super speedily. Suddenly, the breaks scream, breaking the sky. The vehicles that dodge the satanic jeep, one goes to the valley, one hits street hookers, one crashes street vendors, and … etc. Gandamana cares nothing! From inside the jeep the voice heard: --

"I don't care anymore! Love is more important than catastrophe, more excellent that ethics! Go to hell Kumbayana--you're dead!"
SOKALIMA.--Everything is in hurry, Gandamana turns his drive left. The jeep moves like a ballet dancer. In front of Dr Kumbayana's house, the jeep stops. Gandamana jumps down. His steps are resolute, steady-sturdy like Commando. His face is wildly vice more than terrorist!

GANDAMANA: Kumbayana--get out!

His scream welcomes the dumb night. However, inside the house it is heard knees clash, trembling anxiously. Gandamana kicks and breaks down the door.

Dr Kumbayana hides in the space under his bed; he keeps on clashing his knees! The steady steps of the radial sky-high boots come closely. The bed trembles inevitably. The radial boots step closer and closer. The Rambo model of the riffle-barrel touches the nose of Dr Kumbayana.

GANDAMANA: Choose your head explodes, or hands up?

KUMBAYANA: I'm dead! Yes-yes… I am g-going o-out! B-but d-don't s-shoot me, Sir.

However, Dr Kumbayana can not stand up and out his hide. Roughly and impolitely Gandamana grabs him out.

KUMBAYANA: D-don't s-shoot me, Sir. You can take TV, video, or all my salary….

GANDAMANA: Shut up! I'm not a robber! Follow me!

KUMBAYANA: You wanna make me a hostage, Sir? It's in vain, Sir. I'm not VIP, politician, nor high bureaucrat. I'm just a mere honorary worker, Sir.

GANDAMANA: You've used a wrong pen. You should be punished heavily because you've bravely teased the general's princess!

KUMBAYANA: Punish me? But where is your letter of duty to arrest me?

GANDAMANA: I don't need it!

KUMBAYANA: But, Sir--this is a law state. Although I'm wrong, I hope you use a legal procedure.

GANDAMANA: Prex! The world of knight knows only hitting, beating, and fighting. I want to prove if Kumbayana is truly powerful ora tedhas tapak paluning pandhe--eh, sorry--it's obsolete! I mean, the product of nuclear technology, missile, etc.!

KUMBAYANA: Wow, Sir--mercy me! I just a mere brahmana intellectual, Sir.

GANDAMANA: What do you mean, Doc?

Dr Kumbayana smiles while looking at Gandamana withers his vice face. He does not idle this opportunity.

KUMBAYANA: Nah! Sir, do you want to know the meaning of brahmana intellectual? Goed! He is the man whose skull is full of scientific and technological and philosophical maxims but his heart if full of jopa-japu!

Gandamana frowns his forehead. His Rambo like riffle is handed down. Dr Kumbayana feels horrible no more. He thinks his polemology succeeds. The wildly vice face withers like a cheap cloth.

GANDAMANA: What is jopa-japu? Is it like a magic sentence, Doc?

KUMBAYANA: O, no! Eh, yes. Nah--that's it! But a sacred formula is different from prayer. Do you know, Sir?


KUMBAYANA: Even if you wanna know--there is a modern magic sentence that can make man be whatever he wanna be. It's true, Sir.

GANDAMANA: What is it, Doc?

Dr Kumbayana tries to remember a modern magic sentence. In the style of a poet he read it: --

Papaliko arukabazuku kodega suzukalibu tutuk liba dekodega zamzam lagotokoco

By Gosh! It derives from "Husspuss" written by Sutardji Calzoum Bachri. Rather! Gandamana feels like a loser. Because of his hate and anger a jab like Tyson's hits the nose of Dr Kumbayana. A Tae Kwon Do kick of Gandamana makes the left hand of his target deformed. The bad faith Doctor falls to the ground.

The earth quacks the sky quacks!
Leaving the dark in his wink!

HOSPITAL.--Sokalima is in an uproar! Dr Kumbayana bruises until blue and black. Aswatama is powerless. He does not know who has made her father knock out. Last night after making a date with Dursilawati, he found his home was messy and his father fell into a gutter like rat. He thinks it was a bloody robber. But nothing's lost except the buttons of his father's shirt fell off confusedly. The investigation result of private detective is positively not a robbery, but violence.

In the waiting room of the hospital, Aswatama is confusedly thinking. When a doctor gets out of ICU, he approaches him.

ASWATAMA: How's my dad, Doc?

DOKTER: Emm--good. The concussion of his brain can be cured, but his physical defect is inevitable. Especially, the mouth, nose, and left hand of Dr Kumbayana can not be perfectly remedied like before.

Aswatama is drooping in the heart. He falls into a chair with x legs. His eyes are low-bat. The doctor just smiles sourly. Sour-sad! Through the glass, the sky looks like a shroud. A carved face is weakly bounded and bloody wounded. Dr Kumbayana lies down there. In the interval of his mourning his delirium utters, "papaliko… bazuku… suzu… ibu…"

Anxiously sad is Aswatama. He looks at a hundred tubes of infuse alternately resist the death. In sadness time is felt too slowly.

Mute mouth morning
Without word without
Asking without greeting!

Aswatama breathes loudly! He opens his daily notes: Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday… Sunday, Sunday, Sunday--and so many Sundays are over and over, Dr Kumbayana has not get well, too. Slowly but surely, Aswatama writes his pen down: --

"Only date changes; but day does not alter. My dad is still dull. His case is frozen. De polis ken du nating! Perhaps it is entered to a refrigerator. My darling, Dursilawati the fat, is also ominous. Near the corpse room, she still asks for getting 68. She says, "Love never knows agony!" Gee my knee! 68 again and again 68. A crazy puzzle! She like whatever hot: hot martabak cake, or hot Bandung cake. How greedy she is! I just eat a piece and she has eaten five. Fit with her radial teeth like a tractor tire! Rather ondel-ondel Betawi she is! No matter!"
Heard the steady steps come closer. Aswatama closes his book. From the mouth of the corridor comes Arjuna.

ARJUNA: G'morrow, Tom! Does Mr. Doctor get better?

ASWATAMA: G'monin, Fren--yeah as you see!

ARJUNA: What is the result of the police's investigation?


ARJUNA: Sure?--may and may not be. I'll try to chase the traces. Vice can not run, but to hell.

ASWATAMA: Yes, Fren--smes it! Yu'll be ol rait.

Arjuna understands the sloppy English dialect of Aswatama. After visiting Dr Kumbayana, Arjuna uproots his legs.

ARJUNA: G'bye, Tom!

ASWATAMA: G'bay, Fren!

The mouth of the corridor swallows Arjuna wholly. He disappears!

The brief news
Hunts the event
Sign of Kurawa
Do the demo!

ASTINA.--Lieut.Gen Sakuni, the metropolitan police chief of Astina, holds a briefing. Lieut.Col Kartamarma sits while rolling his moustache, which is like bar jail. Major Citraksi nods his head not for understanding his boss's instruction but for feeling sleepy. Corporal Citrayuda falls asleep and slobbers.

SAKUNI: The result of politically motivated investigation is positive that the hitter of Dr Kumbayana is Bima! For the only one with Ambon banana-like fingers is Bima. No doubt anymore--catch Bima the bastard. Done!


After giving respect to his boss, Lieut.Col Kartamarma turns to elbow his subordinates. Lick there and elbow here are deeply rooted in the tradition! The bad culture is inevitable. Such an ulcer does not need bounding--amputate it.

KARTAMARMA: Jor-Major--wake up! Sleeping all the time. Get up, Jor!

Major Citraksi makes a snoring contest with Corporal Citrayuda. Lieut.Col Kartamarma has his own way to wake up his subordinates.

KARTAMARMA: Major, I've a bonus!

CITRAKSI: Where is it? Gimme a devident, Overste!

CITRAYUDA: Fifty-fifty is ok, Ov, with subordinates.

Lieut.Col Kartamarma cynically smiles. Nah you! If so, like or not subordinates should be discipline. They can do nothing but doing their duty.

THE PARK--Because Bima is not a refugee, he is easily found. In the park, he is dating with his darling--Nagagini. Lieut.Col Kartamarma manages an arresting strategy.

KARTAMARMA: Good! Bima has a date with a sissy. Be careful don't go off! Do you have a sophisticated way to catch him, Major?

CITRAKSI: Easy! Directly shoot him, like a mysterious sniper.

KARTAMARMA: Hush--blindly talking! It's the last way. Remember--we should take care de police's image.

CITRAYUDA: I think it is better to use penyirepan magic formula to make Bima fall asleep and catch him. Finish, right?

KARTAMARMA: You can do it, Pral?

CITRAYUDA: Yes of coz. Who else I do!

CITRAKSI: Alaaa--you just show off. Try, I wanna know.

Corporal Citrayuda puts his hands on his chest. His eyes are closed. His mouth mumbles, spelling the magic formula: --

Rep sirep si megandana,
Wong sarewu pada tumut,
Salaksa wong serah nyawa.
There is no reaction. Bima and his lover are more intimate. Major Citraksi starts yawning widely; but actually, he has lethargy. Lieut.Col Kartamarma stands uneven frozen. Such a situation makes Bima passionate. Moreover his darling likes sinking her face in his chest.

KARTAMARMA: Thirteen times dangerous, Pral! Let's arrest him!

CITRAYUDA: Wait. Look--Bima starts sleeping. Her lover falls asleep in his hands.

KARTAMARMA: Gee--actually the man is in action, not sleeping, Pral. How stupid you are!

Unpredictably, Bima throws a tube and it hits the forehead of Lieut.Col Kartamarma. No mercy, he falls unconsciously. His body falls down like a banana tree cut by a sword. The red-sleepy eyes of Major Citraksi open widely like a traffic light. Red-yellow-green!

CITRAKSI: Let's arrest him, Pral!

Bima is surprised like a pickpocket snapped by Corporal Citrayuda. Nagagini horribly trembles. Bima stands up. He looks at the rural cowboy-like faces of Major Citraksi and Corporal Citrayuda. Bima thinks they are the rascals who like pretending to be warriors and seeking a story. By manly attitude like a champion, Bima steps forward, ready to make war.

CITRAKSI: Give up, Man!

The hand with a pistol points directly to the nose of Bima. Attacking with lightening speed he grabs it and his fist hits the side-whiskers of the Major. Looking at his boss knocked out at the first minute, Corporal Citrayuda takes his pistol. Having no chance to shoot, a three quintals jab hits his bottled stomach. No mercy anymore the bad faith corporal is thrown away outside the park, falling into the black gutter. That's an extra show--say people.

Bima cleans his sleeves. Nagagini who has been standing freezly in the edge of the park runs to her lover. Bima embraces her.

NAGAGINI: Are you ok, Honey? I feel horrible--but infatuated, too. Your style is like Mr. T the star of The A Team!

Bima smiles calmly. The couple do "cup-mmmh-cup-mmmh", and than go away.

The hot day
Greets unlucky day

THE HEADQUARTER.--Lieut.Gen Sakuni is mocking his subordinates.

SAKUNI: Stupid! Doing such a duty you fail!

KARTAMARMA: In fact, he is invulnerable by a magic formula.

SAKUNI: Magic? What is that? How stupid you are! Use you brain. Shot with anaesthetic bullet--finished!

CITRAKSI: That's right! With an anaesthetic bullet, I warranty that Bima will be suffocated. Let's go Pral!

"The Hitter of Dr Kumbayana captured!"
SOKALIMA.--Arjuna opens his eyes widely when he reads the news of Astina Voice. Bima is sent to the court. Arjuna feels confused--why is Bima, his brother, arrested and accused of hitting Dr Kumbayana? It's slander!--thinks Arjuna. His own investigation is still in a half way: the shabby letter written by Dr Kumbayana, can be found in his trash basket. It involves the name of the primadonna of Sokalima--Srikandi.

In the verandah of the campus, Banowati stops Arjuna.

BANOWATI: Jun, accompany me for shopping. Is it OK?

ARJUNA: Oops--sorry, Ban. I'm really busy.

BANOWATI: Just for a while, why, Jun?

ARJUNA: I can't, Ban. I've an important case!

Banowati suntrut-cemberut, failing to ask Arjuna for dating. Unfortunately, she has a bet with Surtikanti and Dursilawati. Arjuna does not care of her disappointed face. The humble letter asks him for visiting Srikandi's house.

PANCALA.--After writing his ID in a guest book handed by the vice-face Gandamana, Arjuna goes to the guestroom. Srikandi appears and smiles as sweet as a lipstick ad. Her body looks so sexy wearing tight jeans and a fit T-shirt. Arjuna who knows by heart Katuranggan Perawan spontaneously classifies her into a type of Gedang Kencana or Mitra Dharma woman!

SRIKANDI: Come in, Jun. At last you would like to come here, too.

ARJUNA: Danke! I need you help, Kandy.

SRIKANDI: O-yea? What's that?

ARJUNA: Do you know this letter?

Looking at the humble letter written by Dr Kumbayana in Arjuna's hands, Srikandi is startled like turtle. Arjuna smiles calmly.

SRIKANDI: I threw the letter away. Why now is it in you, Jun?

ARJUNA: I found it in the trash basket of Dr Kumbayana. Did you send it back?

SRIKANDI: Ah, no! What's the matter, Jun?

ARJUNA: This letter relates to the hitting of Dr Kumbayana. And, Bima has been the victim of miss-arrest. It's impossible for him to violate his lecturer.

SRIKANDI: Then you accuse me, Jun?

ARJUNA: No, Kandy. Maybe there is a man who feels jealous because of you, and then violates the writer of this letter. Do you have a boyfriend, Kandy?

SRIKANDY: Em… no, Jun. Papa forbids me to have a lover. He says, "Ideal first, then love!" Besides, Mr. Ganda's guarding is very tight.

Lucky!--thinks Arjuna. He looks at her with a sticky sight. Manly eyes! Srikandi seems very shy. Her cheeks blush and sum her beauty. She uproots her sight from the edge of the sofa. Then she tries to gaze bravely at the super-cute boy in front of her. But it's messy. Her sight crashes with his sight. A Richard Gere-like smile depicts the sweet lips of Arjuna. Spontaneously Srikandi's heart beats in rivalry with the drumbeats of Phil Collins.

ARJUNA: Excuse me--see you later, Kandy.

SRIKANDI: So hurry? Where are you going, Jun?

ARJUNA: You know--an amateur detective! G'bye, Kandy.

SRIKANDI: Yoo-bye!

Arjuna is about to step out of the hedge, a heavy voice heard calling. He looks around. Gandamana stands by his military jeep. His vice face does not conformise.

GANDAMANA: Never try to tease the General's princess, if you don't wanna have a bad faith like Dr Kumbayana. Look at these--my right hand is hospital, my left hand is hell!

ARJUNA: O, I see--this is the hitter of Dr Kumbayana?

GANDAMANA: Yes--what do you want?

ARJUNA: So manly! Or it's because of an adjuvant? Prex! Justice is more important than status.

GANDAMANA: Never pretend to be heroic, Boy! Be a coward to save yourself.

ARJUNA: Prex ah! A man like you'd better be a citizen of prison. Go to jail, Man!

Suddenly Gandamana jumps, his fist is ready to hit Arjuna's head. But mis it! The hitter is vexed; his anger flares up rivaling Iran's oil refinery bombed by Iraq. The battle is inevitable. Physically, Arjuna looses big; but tactically, he wins smartly. It is not strange if Gandamana is not able to cope with, then takes his commando-knife. Wildly-madly the knife flies directly toward Arjuna's chest. Speedily like a thunder Arjuna grabs it, and his kicking is enough to make Gandamana fall to the ground, kissing hot asphalt.

Gandamana tries to stand up. He holds the side of his jeep. While tottering like a drunkard's style, he takes his Rambo-like riffle. Then it is pointed directly to Arjuna.

GANDAMANA: He-he-he… you're dead, Boy!

ARJUNA: OK! You are dead, too, if you know who I'm.

GANDAMANA: Who are you, huh?

ARJUNA: Arjuna! I'm the son-in-law candidate of General Drupada.

The riffle ready to "BANG" slowly goes down. It is not because of Arjuna's bluffing, but because of General Drupada's coming with Srikandi.

DRUPADA: What are you doing Captain?

GANDAMANA: He has tortured my self-esteem, General.

DRUPADA: Is it right, Arjuna?

ARJUNA: Lie, Uncle! He talks blindly. Actually, he asked me first to fight. He is the hitter of Dr Kumbayana, Uncle.

SRIKANDI (surprised): Why are you so reckless, Ganda?

GANDAMANA: It's because of thee Young Lady--I love thee.

Hearing such a confession, Srikandi is uneven-frozen. Arjuna smiles funnily. Crazy! The sight of Gandamana falls into the edge of General Drupada's boots.

DRUPADA: You should be responsible to the risk of this case, Captain! En it's impossible for me to protect what you did. Justice is more powerful than status.

The prisoner vehicle picks Gandamana up. For a while he gazes at the primadonna of Sokalima. Srikandi looks at him until he is lost eaten by a bend street. Then she turns to throw her eyes to Arjuna beside her. Arjuna welcomes her with a "cup-mmmh" smile. The love flowers bloom in the heart of Srikandi, challenging the playboy falling in love with her. Cup-mmmh--CUT! The intimacy of the campus primadonna and the campus playboy is greeted by the Greatest Love of All song sung by the super black sweet Whitney Houston.

Ki Harsono Siswocarito
Semarang, 5 Pebruary 2008

Minggu, 13 Januari 2008

Woman Commander In Kurusetra

It is really in vain
Crying for the pain

RANDUGUMBALA HEADQUARTER, AMARTA.--Wirata Multinasional Troops have been destroyed in the hell of Kurusetra. Matswapati, the President of Wirata, needs to revenge! But no power, he is just a mare veteran. To protect his image, in a hurry he goes to the head quarter. Pandawa hold a briefing.

DARMAKUSUMA: Pandawa's leaders--we should restructure the new strategy and inaugurate a new commander to rival the Multimodern Troops Kurawa led by General Bisma. Is it right, General Kresna?

KRESNA: Exactly! I think no one can destroy General Bisma except Colonel Srikandi. The commander's weakness lies in woman's hands. Nah, are you objection, General Arjuna?

ARJUNA: No! But is it not a wrong inauguration? Amarta has many commanders. Why should we choose a woman to be a commander?

KRESNA: That's right, General Arjuna--but we need another way. Amarta lose in war because emphasized too much on the war strategy and technology. Whereas, the war strategy and technology of General Bisma is truly superpowerful and no weakness at all. The only way to find out a weakness of General Bisma is by investigating his biography, especially in "History of Dewi Amba". The tragic aspect of Bisma lies in it. And women can read powerfully the inner-meanings of the story.

BIMA: Wooow, irrational! It's impossible that literature can be the rival of war theory and strategy!

NAKULA: Why not? If it's taken appropriately and sophisticatedly, inspiration can be greatly sophisticated more than either theory or strategy.

SADEWA: Maybe! And this country is anti-discrimination. Sawojajar Division is in accordance with the inauguration of woman commander.

BIMA: Good! Jodipati Division agrees, too!

DARMAKUSUMA: I hope this meeting should get a whole agreement. Because without such agreement it is hard to get unity in action. And what is your opinion, Ki Lurah Semar?
"Good, Dad. Nominate me to be a commander."
"Huh, you just show off, Bro."
"To defend our country, Truk."
"For your country or your money?"
"Being a hansip u are in valid!"
"Pretending to be a hero!"
"SST, be calm, Sons!"
"Yea, Dad!"
SEMAR: Thank you, I believe in your wise-policy my Majesty. Well, it's up to you.

"Laborious! Not represent people's aspiration."
"SST! Loyalty, Bro."
"Eh, what's that, Truk?"
"Bagong's snoring--"
"Shut up, Sons!"
DARMAKUSUMA: Thank you, Ki Lurah. Well, it seems we wholly agree to inaugurate Colonel Srikandi to be a commander-in-chief. And this briefing's over.
(Knock! Knock! Knock!)

"Excuse me, Sir. Can you tell me about--"
"No! Scat!"
"Op de record, Mista!"
"Who's he, Gong?"
"Foreign journalist has lost his way!"
"He-he, C'Mon to the front!"
(Riiing… click!)--"Hello, who's this?… O, Mas Gatot… This is Sri! Any important news?… Okay, Jane d'Ark Brigade of Madukara is ready to go to Kurusetra!… Yeah, be free!"--(Click!)
Drink, don't sink
Drink, don't sink
Drink, don't sink

BULUPITU HEADQUARTER, ASTINA.--Kurawa's party to celebrate their win. Drinking till sinking! Teenagers say, "Teller!" Looking at his indiciplinary troops, General Bisma is heavily disappointed. In fact, winning can make the winner sink in drinking!
"O ale of life!"
(Gulp! Gulp!)--"Aahh…."
"Vodka. O Mazurka dance!"
(Pluf!)--"Drink, Dur! Salute--" (Ting!)
"O Mbodrooo-mBodro, come here, Darling… tomorrow Arjuna will be roasted! Y-you'll get p-political asylum… hooeekh!"
CITRAYUDA: Huh! Bastard drunkard!

DURSASANA: Throw them to the gutter, in order to drink rusty water!

DURMAGATI: O, no--it'z! Give em poison to make em die at de zame time!
"O, Rukma, y-you d-died? N-neber m-mind, y-you are the most heroic--"
"Half mad!"
General Bisma gets out of the head quarter. He can not stand looking at the condition of his troops! What is the meaning of modern strategy and technology of war if the soldiers deadly fall into indiciplinary? In vain!
"Whaz up, Pral?"
"Report, Sir! Pandawa give woman as a gift!"
"Wow! Nize!"
"Great, let's go to Kurusetra!"
(Clasp! Clasp! Clasp!)--"Hey Dur, Cit, Karta! Let's go to the front!"
BISMA: Hey, soldiers! Throw the satanic tubes! Pandawa attack us!
"Y-yes, S-sir!"

BISMA: If you say so! These drunkard troops will be led to the battlefield.


Do not weep
War is kind

"I wanna watch the war, Auntie."
"No, Sanjaya! You maybe hit by missile which is not hit in butt!"
"No, Auntie Kunti--there's Anti-nuclear screen."
"Talk blindly! Dad's mad!"
"Never mind, bye, Auntie."
"Widura! Widura! Your son goes to Kurusetra!"
"It's ok, Sis. Who knows he will be a war journalist?"
KURUSETRA.--In the border!

"Watching from here."

Beating the Bass drum!
"Long live Bisma! Long live Kurawa!"
"Long live Ngurawa! Yesnernay I bet a nerong-- long live Muna Nerong!"
"Gong, let's beat the Kurawa's supporters!"
"Use you catapult, Truk!"
"This is the stone."
(Cpret!)--"Long live--(Thwack!)--Ouch! Mruise my head!"
"Cigar-cigar, peppermint, Menthos, tissue, Getsby! Tissue, Sir--anti-pregnancy?"
"No thank!"
"Ice, ice! Smoky ice!"
"Newspaper-newspaper! Hot news: KURUSERTA IN FIRE. Crazy war in Kurusetra, yap, newspaper-newspaper!"
"Egg, Egg, sweet egg!"
(Jreng!)--"Yeah, Bro., excuse me and permit me to entertain you!"--(Jreng!)
"Man, give me your charity, Man!"--(Clunk!)
(Cplek!)--"Great! I nominate Pandawa! What's your bet?"
"My girlfriend!"
"What! Such an old and odd!"
"You fart, Sir?"
"Trumpet fool!"
"Shit! Let's move!"
"Wow! The chick troops--are you going to war or to swim?"
"Sst! Battling on mattress!"
"Hush! Talk blindly!"
At that time Jane d'Ark Brigade of Madukara succeeds to destroy Kurawa's troops. And crazily the Kurawa's soldiers face the attack like welcoming their wives.
"O, come, Darling!"
"Darling-darling--(Bang!)--Thy head!"
"Eladalah! Teja-teja sulaksana, tejanira wong anyar katon, ing wingking pundi pinoko, ing ngajeng--"
(Bang!)--"Too long!"
"Beat em, Miss! What for kidding yore in war!"
SRIKANDI: Bisma, take this precise time to end your life!

"Look out, General!"--(Bang!)

BISMA: Aaarrrggghhh!

"Hooray! Bisma died!"
"Long live Woman Commander!"

Ki Harsono Siswocarito
Semarang, January 14, 2008

Kamis, 03 Januari 2008

Sang Seta The Commander of Amarta

The bloody red field
The bloody red sky

KURUSETRA.--In fire! Firing, bombing, shooting, killing are the death signs of Bharatayudha. Deadly-blow and deadly-breath happen here and there. The hell of Kurusetra does not conform at all. Cruel-duel rivals the hell!

In the front line Colonel Wratsangka succeeds to attack and forces back the troops of Kurawa. Then he puts out the flag of Amarta in the middle battlefield of Kurusetra.

ARDAWALIKA: No wrong anymore, the man who puts the flag out in the middle of Kurusetra is surely Arjuna the bastard. This is the right time to kil him for grudge. I'll bomb him--stark dead you bastard!

"Look out! Stealth aircraft!"
"Bomb--face downward!"
"O, my God!"
"Wratsangka's dead!"

ARDAWALIKA: Huh? Wratsangka? Bad luck! Wrong bombing. Dangerous--I should fuck off to save myself!

"Shoot down! Oops, it's gone away!"
"Hurry contact Captain Utara!"
"Yes, Sir!"
The news of Colonel Wratsangka's death in the frontline fires Captain Utara's heroism.

UTARA: Rude-crude! I should take revenge the death of Wratsangka.

Death debt should be paid with death
Soul debt should be paid with soul death

"Colonel should be paid by corporal!"
"Hush! It's not equally paid!"

UTARA: Rascal Kurawa, take my revenge.
"Oops, Captain Utara's raging!"
"Throw the grenade!"--(Pluk!)
"Ouch, doesn't work, Dur!"
BISMA: Look out, Utara--no ask for sin! Feel this the latest-hottest laser weapon.

"Utara's dead! Utara died! Utara's stark dead!"
"O, Lord! How now, Truk?"
"Deliver a report to quarter, Gong!"
"How horrible! Let's run!"
RANDUGUMBALA HEADQUARTER, AMARTA.--Uproar! The sensational news on the destruction of Wirata multinational troops makes the leaders of Pandawa fall into despair. Actually the Kurawa's troops led by General Bisma the commander-in-chief of Astina are super powerful! Immediately the war experts of Amarta inaugurate a rivalry commander. The choice falls to General Seta, the latest great expert of war strategy from Wirata.

YUDISTIRA: Have a good tour of duty, General Seta.

SETA: Yes, Sir!

KRESNA: Marshal Gatotkaca--guard Mr. Commander's departure!


Immediately the Krincingwesi aircraft flies to space. In a hurry General Seta jumps to the battlefield.

FRONT KURUSETRA.--The arrival of Wirata troop and Seta the commander-in-chief empower the troops of Amarta. Meanwhile, in the side of Astina, Kurawa haven't added new troop yet. General Seta does not make the situation in vain. The Amarta's troops easily destroy the Kurawa's.

SETA: Hmh, Bisma, I'm your rival! You should pay the death of Wirata's commanders. Fight me Seta, the Last Commander of Wirata!

"Attack-force back!"

In a hurry fuck off
Bisma buzzes off
From war back off

BISMA: Crazy! Seta's surely satanic!

"We can't the satanic Seta!"
"Let's go for safe, Let!"
"Don't be stubborn, Citraksi!"
"Dur, back off!"
SETA: Whoa-ha-ha… Bisma scat and back off! Where's your greatness, Bisma? Don't ask for torture! Where'll you go, Bisma?

"Oops, Bisma jumps out of the barbed wire!"
"Throw a grenade!"
"All died Kurawa!"
SETA: Hmh, no Kurawa warrior who bravely goes into Kurusetra. This battle-field is absolutely in my power.

The nuance is calmly clear
The Situation is comely clear

"Great, I'll collect the ex-war tank ah."
"Are you a gutter-man, Sir?"
"O, no! I'm a member of rubbish-picking troop."
"Hey, Man, what is it for you collect the ex-war stuffs?"
"O, rather well for recycling--(Bang!)--oops!"
"Dangerous! There's a stealth sniper!"
"Look out, face downward!"
SETA: Huh? Stealth sniper! Where does he come from? Strange--invisible.


SETA: Hey the coward! Step forward if you are truly knightly. Fight me Seta.


SETA: E-e-h bastard! The coward should be trapped. I'll pretend to die, to pull him out of his hiding-place.

"Seta's dead! Seta's stark dead!"
"Seta's shot dead by mysterious sniper!"
"Issue war, isn't it?"
"Hush, secret!"
"Eh, Pral, wanna know? But don't tell anyone. Seta's shot dead by Lieutenant Rukma!"
"Long live! God saves Kurawa's hero!"
RUKMA: Ha-ha-ha… this is Rukma the hero! A chosen-rival knight! Where's you great name, Seta? Phew--bullshit! Come on, send all war-power of Amarta, absolutely I'll crush and break em up by this invisible-tank.

SETA: Whoa-ha-ha… rather, big mouth! Rukmaa-Rukma, d you think I have no brain to deceive your cowardice? Taste this wild-cruel weapon!


"Rukma's dead! Rukma's stark dead!"
"Long live the Commander of Amarta! Long live Seta!"
"Seta! Seta! Seta!"
BISMA: Hey, Seta, don't be proud! You must die in fire by this laser weapon. Taste this, Seta!


SETA: Aaarrrghhh!!!

Destiny is inevitable
Fate is also inevitable

"Seta, o, Seta… Lord!"
"Seta's dead! Seta's dead!"

BISMA: Ha-ha-ha… Seta's dead at last. No warrior can make war and fight me!

"Hooray… Seta's dead!"
"Dead! Dead! Dead!"
"Long live Bisma!"
"Bisma! Bisma! Bisma!"

The nature of word is
Being and nothingness

Ki Harsono Siswocarito
Semarang, 4 Januari 2008